{"id":8521,"date":"2020-11-16T01:54:29","date_gmt":"2020-11-16T01:54:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/affinityhrgroup.com\/?p=8521"},"modified":"2023-11-27T20:52:37","modified_gmt":"2023-11-27T20:52:37","slug":"im-fine-and-other-covid-lies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theworkplaceadvisors.com\/im-fine-and-other-covid-lies\/","title":{"rendered":"I’m Fine (And Other COVID Lies)"},"content":{"rendered":"
One day this past week, Lisa Ritchie, our VP of Recruiting and Talent Selection, and I were on a video call.\u00a0 She was having a rough day and needed to vent about something non-work related: managing the virtual schooling of her children due to COVID school closures.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cYou know,\u201d she said, \u201cI\u2019m perfectly fine going along and going along and then one day, Bam! I hit an emotional wall.\u00a0 Do you know what I mean?\u201d she asked.<\/span><\/p>\n Yes, I absolutely do know what she means.\u00a0 I too have hit emotional walls over the past few months, sometimes over something very upsetting and important such as the COVID death of someone I\u2019ve known my whole life, and sometimes over something trivial, such as the lack of paper towels in the grocery store.\u00a0 And, I\u2019ve fielded many calls from clients who have hit their own emotional walls.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n What I\u2019m learning is that as the global health pandemic lingers on in its insidious way, our resiliency is challenged in unexpected and sudden ways.\u00a0 Our ability to handle adversity is occasionally compromised.\u00a0 And unfortunately, our moments of poor emotional intelligence are unpredictable and inconsistent.\u00a0 And it seems that no one is immune to these emotional gyrations.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n This is a very real workplace challenge that many business owners and managers are facing these days.\u00a0 When talking with your employees, it\u2019s important to let them know that they may be experiencing unpredictable ups and downs.\u00a0 Feel free to share your own emotional struggles so that others know it is normal to experience feelings like frustration, sadness, and anger. It helps to know none of us are alone in our feelings.\u00a0 Fortunately, there are things you can do to help.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n To manage those feelings, here are some steps to improve emotional intelligence:<\/span><\/p>\n Step 1 \u2013 Self Awareness<\/b>\u00a0 Often times, we don\u2019t realize our emotions have hijacked us until we\u2019re in a full-blown state of fight, flight, or freeze.\u00a0 We may find ourselves lashing out at others, or freezing from anxiety or fear.\u00a0 These are indications that our brain has been stimulated by a stress signal and stress hormones like histamines, cortisol, and epinephrine are flooding our bodies.\u00a0 Chances are, however, that before you were in an extreme emotional state, your body was sending you signals that you were feeling fear or anxiety or sadness or anger. Start paying attention to your body.\u00a0 For me, I feel stress as butterflies in my stomach.\u00a0 I find myself clenching my fists or clenching my jaw when I\u2019m angry.\u00a0 I feel frustration in my shoulders and head.\u00a0 Most of the time, I feel these emotions in my body before I have identified my emotion or why I\u2019m feeling it.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n The most important element of managing your emotions is to notice that you\u2019re having an emotion.\u00a0 For the next few days, try to pay attention to the signals your body is sending you indicating that you are having an emotional reaction to something around you.\u00a0 Listen to your body.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Step 2 \u2013 Self Regulation\u00a0 <\/b>While being aware that you are in an emotional state is a critical part of improving emotional intelligence, it\u2019s not enough to help you manage stress.\u00a0 The second most important step is to do the things that you know calm you.\u00a0 Ask yourself, \u201cWhy am I stressed?\u00a0 Why am I feeling this way?\u201d\u00a0 Simply asking yourself those questions will force your brain to redirect the stimulus from your amygdala (the primitive part of your brain responsible for releasing those nasty fight, flight, or freeze hormones) to your higher cortex (the part of your brain responsible for cognitive thought).\u00a0 Once you\u2019ve had a chance to think about the fact that you are in an emotional state, try to identify ways to self soothe and calm yourself down.\u00a0 Some common techniques include:<\/span><\/p>\n There are many things you can do to calm your emotions.\u00a0 The important thing here is to start your calming techniques as soon as you feel your body responding to a stress signal.\u00a0 If you wait too long, your amygdala will pump those hormones into your body, and they are likely to hijack your emotions for up to 8 hours.\u00a0 So the faster you can recognize and redirect your emotions, the faster you will be able to move on from them.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Step 3 \u2013\u00a0 Practice Gratitude and Grace <\/b>\u00a0It is said that the brain cannot process fear and gratitude or anger and gratitude at the same time.\u00a0 This is why, in times of stress and uncertainty, so many therapists and counselors recommend keeping a gratitude diary.\u00a0 A gratitude diary is a record kept every day of the three to five things you are grateful for. I don\u2019t personally keep a diary because, well, I\u2019m not disciplined enough, but I do know that being grateful is critical to my own mental health and happiness and has been for years.\u00a0 You can be grateful for something small, like securing a perfect parking spot, or for something big, like the love of a dear friend or one\u2019s children\u2019s good health.\u00a0 Whatever it is, that gratitude brings health and emotional healing.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Grace is equally important.\u00a0 It is a kindness that you can show to others, whether they have earned that kindness or not, and it is a kindness you can give to yourself, particularly when you find yourself feeling guilty, insecure, or in a state of self-loathing.\u00a0 There is no point in treating others with grace if you fail to do so for yourself.\u00a0 The more self-love you can show yourself, the greater the capacity you will have to love others.<\/span><\/p>\n Finally, as we all work to manage the occasional emotional storms during this difficult time, I wanted to share a special prayer that I practice which I learned during my training as a Reiki healing practitioner.\u00a0 I hope it brings you comfort in the days and months ahead:<\/span><\/p>\n Reiki Prayer<\/b><\/p>\n Just for today, I will not worry<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n Just for today, I will not be angry<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n Just for today, I will be grateful for my blessings<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n Just for today, I will work honestly<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n And Just for today, I will be kind to every living thing (including myself).<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n By Claudia St. John, SPHR, SHRM-SCP, President \u2013 Affinity HR Group, Inc.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" One day this past week, Lisa Ritchie, our VP of Recruiting and Talent Selection, and I were on a video call.\u00a0 She was having a rough day and needed to vent about something non-work related: managing the virtual schooling of her children due to COVID school closures.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou know,\u201d she said, \u201cI\u2019m perfectly fine going […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":10103,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[46,1],"tags":[29,35,31,47],"class_list":["post-8521","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-46","category-uncategorized","tag-affinity-hr-group","tag-claudia-st-john","tag-covid-19","tag-lisa-ritchie"],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"\n\n